Depression, Itself

So, what exactly is this thing we call, "depression?"  This explanation was the one I liked most (the others sounded far too...intense), taken from PsychologyInfo.com:


Depression is a "whole-body" illness, involving your body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.


The symptoms of depression may vary from person to person, and also depend on the severity of the depression. Depression causes changes in thinking, feeling, behavior, and physical well-being. 

• Changes in Thinking - You may experience problems with concentration and decision making. Some people report difficulty with short term memory, forgetting things all the time. Negative thoughts and thinking are characteristic of depression. Pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt, and self-criticism are all common. Some people have self-destructive thoughts during a more serious depression.
• Changes in Feelings - You may feel sad for no reason at all. Some people report that they no longer enjoy activities that they once found pleasurable. You might lack motivation, and become more apathetic. You might feel "slowed down" and tired all the time. Sometimes irritability is a problem, and you may have more difficulty controlling your temper. In the extreme, depression is characterized by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
• Changes in Behavior - Changes in behavior during depression are reflective of the negative emotions being experienced. You might act more apathetic, because that's how you feel. Some people do not feel comfortable with other people, so social withdrawal is common. You may experience a dramatic change in appetite, either eating more or less. Because of the chronic sadness, excessive crying is common. Some people complain about everything, and act out their anger with temper outbursts. Sexual desire may disappear, resulting in lack of sexual activity. In the extreme, people may neglect their personal appearance, even neglecting basic hygiene. Needless to say, someone who is this depressed does not do very much, so work productivity and household responsibilities suffer. Some people even have trouble getting out of bed.
• Changes in Physical Well-being - We already talked about the negative emotional feelings experienced during depression, but these are coupled with negative physical emotions as well. Chronic fatigue, despite spending more time sleeping, is common. Some people can't sleep, or don't sleep soundly. These individuals lay awake for hours, or awaken many times during the night, and stare at the ceiling. Others sleep many hours, even most of the day, although they still feel tired. Many people lose their appetite, feel slowed down by depression, and complain of many aches and pains. Others are restless, and can't sit still.

Now imagine these symptoms lasting for weeks or even months. Imagine feeling this way almost all of the time....

Like I recently explained to a good friend from years ago, I’ve come a LOOONG way from where I was back in the day; but, I’ve also come to the realization recently that this little monkey will never truly be off my back.  So, why not face it head on!  (I have to admit, it makes me feel incredibly...exposed sharing it like this; but, I think it’s a good thing.  I guess I'll find out ;) )

Living A Paradox

How do you reconcile being a true Christian yet still struggling with "feeling down" every day -- especially when, not only do you have the blessings and promises that come from a relationship with God, but your earthly circumstances just really aren't that bad?  How do you deal with the fact that the vast majority of the people in your church do not understand (or try to) and tend to think there's something wrong with you spiritually, or that you should just "snap out of it," etc.?  How do you handle being a man who *feels* rather deeply and intensely, when most men experience only four feelings: hungry, tired, angry, and horny?

A few months ago, I started a blog called When I Get To Heaven, because I thought that that encapsulated my personal, spiritual battlefield.  I have since realized, however, that focusing on heaven is paramount, but it is actually only one weapon in the overall war.  We all share common struggles.  We all have our personal battles as well.  This is mine.  For this reason, I have decided to transition to this blog.  Hopefully, if this is your struggle as well, we will both benefit from my sharing as I fight.  If it is not yours, perhaps you will benefit anyway; or, maybe you know someone else who could.